Old and New Jokes

The new preacher had just begun his sermon. He was a little nervous, and about ten minutes into the sermon his mind went blank. After a brief second of complete panic, he remembered what they had taught him in seminary about situations like this: repeat the last point. His teacher assured him this would help him remember what was supposed to come next. So he gave it a try.Behold, I come quickly, he said. Still his mind was blank. He tried again. Behold, I come quickly. Still nothing.He tried one more time — speaking and gesturing with such force that he fell forward, knocking the pulpit to one side, tripping over the flower pot, and falling into the lap of a little old lady in the front row.The young preacher apologized profusely. That’s all right, young man, said the little old lady. It was my fault. I should have gotten out of the way. You told me three times you were coming!