486 – The average IQ needed to understand a PC.

State-of-the-art – Any computer you cant afford.



Obsolete – Any computer you own.



Microsecond – The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.



G3 – Apples new Macs that make you say Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond ago.



Syntax Error – Walking into a computer store and saying, Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object.



Hard Drive – The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, esp. after a Syntax Error.



GUI – What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. (pronounced gooey)



Keyboard – The standard way to generate computer errors.



Mouse – An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.



Floppy – The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.



Portable Computer – A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.



Disk Crash – A typical computer response to any critical deadline.



Power User – Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.



System Update – A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.