A christian democrat
You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

A socialist
You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

An American republican
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

An American democrat
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for
being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows,
forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you
voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your
neighbor. You feel righteous.

A communist
You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you
with milk.

A fascist
You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the
milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

Democracy, American style
You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have
to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one
cow, which was a gift from your government.

Capitalism, American style
You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of
cows.

Bureaucracy, American style
You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one,
milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the
drain.

An American corporation
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce
the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A French corporation
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A Japanese corporation
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the
size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then
create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them
World-Wide.

A German corporation
You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years,
eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A British corporation
You have two cows. They are mad. They die. Pass the shepherds
pie, please.

An Italian corporation
You have two cows, but you dont know where they are. You break
for lunch.

A Russian corporation
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again
and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another
bottle of vodka.

A Swiss corporation
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others
for storing them.

A Brazilian corporation
You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American
corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation
declares bankruptcy.

An Indian corporation
You have two cows. You worship both of them.

A Chinese corporation
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim
full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who
reported on them.

An Israeli corporation
There are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory,
an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their
calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?

An Arkansas corporation
You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.