Old and New Jokes

A judge was interviewing a lady regarding her pending divorce, and asked, What are the grounds for your divorce?
She replied, About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.
No, he said, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It is made of concrete, brick and mortar, she responded.
I mean, he continued, What are your relations like?
I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husbands parents.
He said, Do you have a real grudge?
No, she replied, We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one.
Please, he tried again, is there any infidelity in your marriage?
Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We dont necessarily like the music, but the answer to your question is yes.
Maam, does your husband ever beat you up?
Yes, she responded, about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do.
Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, Lady, why do you want a divorce?
Oh, I dont want a divorce, she replied. Ive never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he cant communicate with me.