Old and New Jokes

Depending on where someone is from and where they are driving you can make some assumptions about their driving styles and etiquette…Chicago: One hand on wheel, one hand on horn.New York: One hand on wheel, one finger out window.New Jersey: One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic.Boston: One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator.Scarborough, Ontario: Both hands clenched on steering wheel, driver staring directly forward, cutting in front of you and slowing down to 40 in a 60 zone then looking in rearview mirror in wonder as to why the car behind is flashing high beams.Los Angeles: One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator with gun in lapOhio, but driving in California: Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror.Italy: Both hands in air and gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat.Seattle: One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on game.Texas: One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on the brake, throwing a McDonalds bag out the window.West Virginia: Four-wheel drive pickup truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna.Florida: Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above window level, driving 35 on the Interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on.Edmonton: One gloved hand on wheel, one hand on heater, feet up underneath bum to keep warm, 3 differently decorated ice scrapers, one plastic, broken; one steel, broken; one pastel, hidden in trunk. neither foot on accelerator or brakes because with all the ice on the roads, youre all moving at the same speed either way.Dubuque, Iowa: no use of turn signal, or left on for 26 blocks…also cr