F.A.Q. About Men (part 2)

Q. Why wont men ever pick up after themselves?A. Why should we? It doesnt really bother us that much. Besides, we know darn well youll pick it up when you finally get tired of looking at it.Q. Whats with all the belching and farting?A. This usually only occurs after months of courting. Its our way to let you know that were comfortable with you. Believe it or not, its actually a sign of affection. Besides, holding it for extended periods of time gives us stomach cramps.Q. Why do men hate shopping?A. Going shopping simply makes no sense of any kind to men. This is comparable to going from restaurant to restaurant, looking at all the food, putting some in your mouth, but never actually swallowing (I wont even comment on the subject of women and swallowing).Q. How can men be so inconsiderate?A. Frankly, Im hurt that you can even say such a thing. Lets take sex for instance. If a man lasts more than five minutes with you, hes thinking of nothing but you. To a man, an orgasm is an orgasm, whether achieved after five minutes or an hour of intercourse. Remember that the next time you have sex. We do it all, and we do it for you.Q. Why cant men ever leave the toilet seat down?A. Have you ever seen one of us pee? The proper position of the toilet seat is up. Mathematically speaking, the proper position of the toilet seat is a function of the peeing frequency over the sitting frequency. The closer that ratio approaches one, the truer the proposition. Besides, its actually a courtesy that we lift the seat. Why would we care if we pee all over the seat. Youre the ones that have to sit on it. You should appreciate the fact that we actually lift the darn thing. After all, we aim to please.Q. Why do most men hate fuzzy toilet seat covers?A. Who wants to pee in front of a guillotine, much less a pink fuzzy one? All the extra fuzz makes it impossible for the toilet seat to stay up properly. You either have to be talented enough

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