31. Jog into class, rip the textbook in half, and scream, Are you pumped? ARE YOU PUMPED? I CANT HEEEEEEAR YOU!
32. Ask for a volunteer for a demonstration. Ask them to fill out a waiver as you put on a lead apron and light a blowtorch.
33. Ask students to list their favorite showtunes on a signup sheet. Criticize their choices and make notes in your grade book.
34. Have a grad student in a black beret pluck at a bass while you lecture.
35. Sprint from the room in a panic if you hear sirens outside.
36. Warn students that they should bring a sack lunch to exams.
37. Refer frequently to students who died while taking your class.
38. Show up to lecture in a ventilated clean suit. Advise students to keep their distance for their own safety and mutter something about that bug I picked up in the field.
39. Begin class by smashing the neck off a bottle of vodka, and announce that the lectures over when the bottles done.
40. Growl constantly and address students as matey.