01
Apr

Fun Things to Do During a Boring Lecture

Bring a blowhorn. Use it when you ask or answer a question.
Heckle the professor.
Hire a video crew to come to the class. If asked about it, say that you have
to tape the lecture for a friend.
Bring a water gun. Shoot the professor when his back is turned.
Get the other students in your row to do the wave.
Bring a small chalkboard to class. Ask the professor if you can borrow his
chalk to take notes.
Contradict everything the professor says. Offer irrefutable scientific
proof.
If its a math lecture, claim that the professor misspelled pi.
When the professor asks a question, raise your hand. If the professor calls
on you, point to someone in the next row and say He knows. Pick a different
person each time.
Buy a doll. When you go to class, leave the doll in your chair, along with
your notebook and pen. Say that you have an important meeting to go to, and that
the doll will be taking notes for you.
Bring a typewriter. Use it to take notes.
Write a love note. Sign it a secret admirer. Get someone to pass it to the
professor.
Get up to go to the bathroom five or six times during the class. Change
clothes every time.
While taking notes, write vulgar words every few lines. If anyone asks, say
you have Tourettes syndrome.
Buy a watermelon. Give it to the professor. If he/she asks, say They were
out of apples.
Bring a small tape player. Play a tape of the previous lecture. Take notes
on both.
If its an English class, ask how the theory of relativity relates to
Shakespeares Midsummer Nights Dream.
Pretend to be asleep until five minutes before the end of class. Then wake
up and explain that you missed the lecture, and ask the professor to summarize
what he/she talked about.
Bring a can of spray paint. Use it to take notes on the classroom wall.
Bring a fully-stocked picnic basket to class. Explain that you didnt have
time to eat breakfast.
Wear a loincloth to class. If anyone asks, say that it is your costume for
the school play, and you didnt have time to change out of it.
Tear out pages of the textbook and make little origami animals out of them.
Have a whole menagerie by the end of class. Give them to the professor as a
token of your esteem.
Bring a fishing rod. Try to catch things on the professors desk.
Bring a tape player and a tape of a thunderstorm. Keep it hidden. Sometime
during the lecture, start the tape, stand up, claim that the professor has
angered the gods and leave. Watch to see how many students follow you after the
tape starts playing.
Make reserved seating cards and place them on the desks before class.
Tell the professor you are on a new experimental cold medication that may
have strange side effects. Every ten minutes or so, run around the room
screaming. Afterward, claim that you have no memory of what just happened.
Claim that you are the new student teacher, and that you are to give the
lecture for that class. If the professor agrees, lecture on a subject completely
opposite the to subject of the class. If the professor objects, say that the
students should have a wide range of knowledge.
Switch the professors lecture notes with your history notes from last term.
Raise your hand and ask when the movie is going to start.
Bring a flash camera. Take pictures every few minutes, using a very bright
flash. If anyone complains, say that you didnt see any sign saying you couldnt
bring cameras.
Bring a light bulb. Hold it over your head whenever you have the answer to a
question.
Bring an easel and a paint set. Paint a portrait of the professor during the
lecture. Say that it is a homework assignment for art class.
Sneeze very loudly. Then, have the person next to you sneeze, then the
person next to him, and so on. See how long it takes before the professor
sneezes.
When the professor comes in, say, very loudly, Hey! A substitute! All
right! Claim that the real professor said you could have lecture outside.
Come to class wearing the same outfit as the professor. Call the professor a
copycat.
If its a geology lecture, switch the quartz crystals with New Folgers
Crystals and see if the professor notices. Have a hidden camera.
Hide a ticking clock under the podium. Call in a bomb threat.
Write your assignment on Plato on your little sisters modeling clay.
Ask questions in a foreign language you know the professor doesnt know. Act
angry when he/she doesnt understand you.
Come to class dressed as a professional wrestler. Tell people you joined the
wrestling team. Bodyslam anyone who doesnt believe you.
When the professor comes in, suddenly scream, NOOOOOO! Not him! Not
professor Johnson! They let him teach again! Noooooooooo! then run out of them
room. See how many people follow you.
Turn your row into a mosh pit.
Before class starts, turn all the desks upside down. Sit on them like you
would normally.
Two words: American Gladiators.
Make requests like people do at rock concerts. (Relativity! Relativity!
Einstein rocks!)
Bring popcorn. Throw it and the professor. Complain that these trained
animal shows arent what they used to be.
Bring a tape player and a tape of the school bell. Play it every 15 minutes.
When the professor calls on you, mumble inconprehensibly. Answer every
question in this fashion. See how long it takes before the professor stops
calling on you.
When you take a test, hire a security guard to stand by your desk and make
sure no one cheats off your paper.
Make up a strange religious cult and distribute flyers for it during class.

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