You can tell its going to be a rotten day when

You can tell its going to be a rotten day when:

  • You wake up face down on the pavement.

  • You put your bra on backward and it fits better.

  • You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.

  • You see a 60 Minutes news team waiting in your office.

  • Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.

  • You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and there arent any.

  • You turn on the TV and they are showing emergency routes out of the city.

  • Your twin sister forgot your birthday.

  • Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hells Angels on the freeway.

  • Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your hat.

  • The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.

  • You wake up and your braces are locked together.

  • You walk to work and find your dress is stuck to the back of your pantyhose.

  • You call your answering service and they tell you its none of your business.

  • Your blind date turns out to be your ex.

  • You put both contact lenses in the same eye.

  • Your pet rock snaps at you.

  • Your wife says, Good morning, Bill, and your name is George.

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