01
Jan
You can tell its going to be a rotten day when:
- You wake up face down on the pavement.
- You put your bra on backward and it fits better.
- You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.
- You see a 60 Minutes news team waiting in your office.
- Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
- You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and there arent any.
- You turn on the TV and they are showing emergency routes out of the city.
- Your twin sister forgot your birthday.
- Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hells Angels on the freeway.
- Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your hat.
- The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.
- You wake up and your braces are locked together.
- You walk to work and find your dress is stuck to the back of your pantyhose.
- You call your answering service and they tell you its none of your business.
- Your blind date turns out to be your ex.
- You put both contact lenses in the same eye.
- Your pet rock snaps at you.
- Your wife says, Good morning, Bill, and your name is George.