A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.

Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier.

You know youre into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.

Dont worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.

The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.

As we grow older year by year, my husband always mourns: the less and less we feel our oats, the more we feel our corns.

Youre getting old when getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

Youre getting old when youre sitting in a rocker and you cant get it started.

Youre getting old when tying one on means fastening your MedicAlert bracelet.

Youre getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling and you didnt do anything the night before.

Its hard to be nostalgic when you cant remember anything.

You know youre getting old when you stop buying green bananas.