God & Moses: A Little

Excuse me, sir.

Is that you again, Moses?

Im afraid it is, sir.

What is it this time, Moses. More computer problems?

Well, I have a question, sir. You know those ten things you sent me.

You mean the commandments, Moses?

Thats it. I was wondering if they were important.

What do you mean were important, Moses? Of course, they are important.

Well, sorry, but I lost them. I could say the dog ate them, but of course you would see right through that.

What do you mean you lost them! Are you trying to tell me you didnt save them, Moses?

No, sir. I forgot. I did send them to some people before I lost them though.

And did you hear back from any of them?

You already know I did. What about the one guy who said he never uses shalt not. Can he change the words a little bit?

Yes, Moses. As long as he doesnt change the meaning.

Well, what about the guy who said I was scamming him?

I think that is spamming, Moses.

Oh, yeah. I e-mailed him back and told him I dont even eat that stuff and I have no idea how you can send it to someone through a computer.

And what he did say?

You know what he said. He used your name in vain. You dont think he might have sent me one of those plagues and thats the reason I lost those ten things, do you?

Theyre called viruses, Moses.

Whatever! This computer stuff is just too much for me. Can we just go back to those stone tablets? It was hard on my back taking them out and reading them each day, but I never lost them.

Well do it the new way, Moses.

I was afraid you would say that, sir.

Moses, what did I tell you to do if you messed up?

You told me to hold up this rat and stretch it out toward the computer.

Its a mouse, Moses. Mouse! And did you do that?

No, I decided to try the technical support first. After all, who knows more about this stuff than you, and I really like your hours. By the way, sir, did Noah have two of these mice on the ark?

No, Moses.

One other thing. Why didnt you name them frogs instead of mice, because didnt you tell me the thing they sit on is a pad?

I didnt name them, Moses. Man did, and you can call yours a beatnik if you want to.

Oh, that explains it. Kind of like Adam, huh, sir? I bet some woman told him to call it a mouse. After all, wasnt it a woman who named one of the computers Apple?

Say goodnight, Moses.

Wait a minute, sir. I am stretching out the mouse and it seems to be working. Yes, a couple of the ten things have come back.

Which ones are they, Moses?

Lets see. Thou shalt not steal from any grave an image and Thou shalt not uncover thy neighbors wife.

Turn the computer off, Moses. Im sending you another set of stone tablets. How does Same Day Air sound?

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