One day God was hanging out at the Pearly Gates with St. Paul.

I need to find someone to run for president, he said after a while.

Attentive to his boss needs, St. Paul started naming off a few
qualified candidates.

Nah, I want that guy, he said pointing to a drunken Texas governor
pissing off a balcony.

Youve got to be kidding, said St. Paul, Not only is he dumber than
a box of rocks, hes got drinking and drug problems.

I dont care, said God, This is the guy.

Perplexed, St. Paul asked, What is the problem, Lord, art thou angry
with the Americans?

No, said God, I made a bet with the Devil that I could get a
village idiot to run for president.

But wont that work in the Devils favor, oh Lord? Paul asked.

Thats all right, said God, hell never take Florida.