Old and New Jokes

John got very bad migraines. Incredibly bad. He would get sick and nauseous. After numerous tests, Johns doctor came up with the solutionYou have a unique physiology John. Your testicles are pushing back against your spinal column, causing your headaches. There are two remedies. Surgery to remove your testicles in which case the pain will be gone, or medication that will reduce the pain, but you will always have it.After much consideration, John elected to have the surgery. Everything went great and the pain was gone. A few weeks later, John was feeling down and a friend suggested that he go downtown and buy himself a suit. John was told about a suitmaker who could take measurements by looking at someone. John took his friends advice and walked into the tailor shop. A little old man wandered out and looked at John and said:44 long. Your coat size is 44 long.
Astonished, John agreed.
Neck size 16 1/2. John was amazed and said so.
I been doing this for 40 years, I know people and their measurements…you want shoes with this suit?
John said yes, the man looked at his feet and said size 9. Correct
Inseam 34 inches. Correct
Waist size 36
Well, Im afraid youre wrong there, I wear a 33, John said.
Please, sir, I been doing this for 40 years, youre a 36 waist.
Hehe, no I am pretty sure I wear a size 33.Mister, you telling me my job? If a man your height and build were to wear a size 33 waist, itd push his testicles back up against his spinal column and give you a headache so bad itd kill you.