Old and New Jokes

If there is music, mix up your dancing: break dance to classical, symphony conductor hand waves to techno music.If you find your former dancing partner dancing with someone else, burst into tears, wailing I thought you loved me!, and run from the room.Tell a middle-aged wife, Your husband seems very happy with that girl in the closet…Tell a middle aged man, Your wife seems very happy with that boy in the closet…Whisper to the guest on your right, What kind of lame moron actually goes to these parties, anyway?Bring Lego warships and fighter jets. Wage a war in the middle of the room. Urge other guests to get involved. If you are a historical expert, reenact the revolutionary war, the civil war, world war two, etc.Bring a soccer ball, basketball, football, or baseball. Start a game… in the kitchen.Karate chop everywhere and everything. Yell really, really loud. A few sudden kicks would be worthwhile as well.Wear wool or feathers and sneeze all night. The doctor says Im not allergic to anything except sheep and birds…If someone says the word no to you, say, How dare you turn down the prince / princess of Ugranialo!Burst into the room an hour late, sopping wet and screaming, Ive done it! Ive found Atlantis!Pick out the oldest women at the party, run up to her, and exclaim, Grandmother! its me, Anastasia!If it is a summer party in the evening, break into a duet with another guest: Summer nights. Persuade the host to sing Youre the one that I want with you.Come in saying, the guy outside in the lab coat is looking for (insert name of host).