Im Stupid Signs

    Stupid people should have to wear signsthat just say, "Im Stupid." That way you wouldnt rely on them, would you? Youwouldnt ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me…oops, never mind. I didntsee your sign."

    Its like before my wife and I moved.Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comesover and says "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once ortwice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Heres your sign."

    A couple of months ago I went fishingwith a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big ol stringerof bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, yall catch all them fish?""Nope — talked em into giving up. Heres your sign."

    I was watching one of those animal showson the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And theres onlyone way to test it. "Alright Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good… Theywant you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they biteyou." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I dont wanna lose it."

    Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled mytruck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks atmy truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldnt resist.Said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me.Heres your sign."

    We were trying to sell our car about ayear ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. Weget back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe,then says, "Darn thats hot!" See? If hed been wearing his sign, I could havestopped him.

    I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in mydays of adventure. Wouldnt ya know I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck gotstuck and I couldnt get it out no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help andeventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basicquestioning..ok..no problem. I thought sure he was clear of needing a sign…until heasked "So..is your truck stuck?" I couldnt help myself! I looked at him, lookedback at the rig and then back to him and said "No, Im delivering a bridge… heresyour sign."

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