You know youre in Sydney, Australia, when…

• Your co-worker tells you they have eight body piercings but none are visible.

• You earn over $100,000 and still cant afford a house.

• You never bother looking at the bus timetable because you know the drivers have never seen it.

• You cant remember… is dope illegal?

• Youve been to more than one baby shower (wetting the babys head) that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

• You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown and can taste the difference between Sumatra and Ethiopian.

• A great parking space can move you to tears.

• Your childs Year Three teacher has two pierced ears, a nose ring and is named Breeze. And, after telling that to a friend, they still need to ask if the teacher is male or female.

• You get used to signs at zebra crossings that say, Pedestrians give way to traffic.

• You are thinking of taking an adult class but you cant decide between yoga, aromatherapy, conversational Mandarin or a building your own website class.

• You get used to the fact that drivers have never heard of the road code and start running red lights, not bothering to indicate lane changes and never, ever, giving way to anyone else – especially if the other has the right of way.

• A man walks down the main street in full leather regalia and crotchless pants. Nobody takes any notice.

• You keep a list of companies to boycott.

• Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay and your Avon lady is a guy in drag.