My spouse died of laughter after reading the mail. This is what
I pulled out of her dead grasp:

Dear Friend:

Youre not surprised when he calls. Even if you
forgot his number, you know hes remembered yours.

Youve got the right look. The right length. The
right vee. The right tee.

The spice. The scent. The savvy. The shape.

The point. The polish. The object. The art.

The legs. Eyes. Hips. Lips. The haute clothes.
Heiress hair. The look of luxe everywhere.

Not to mention (though he doesnt know it) the lacy
bra. The racy teddy. The high-impact smolder. The
high-impact flair.

Its all part of who you are.

You get promoted sooner. You look ten pounds thinner.
You have luscious lashes. Thinner thighs. Fuller hair.

You know the right de-stressers. Energizers.
Sleekers. Slimmers.

And you know what to read.

Mademoiselle.