Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A: The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.

Q: What do you do if you run over a lawyer?
A: Back over him to make sure. Then, make another notch on the steering wheel.

Q: Why wont sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.

Q: What do have have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.

Q: When lawyers die, why are they buried in a hole 24 feet deep?
A: Because down deep, they are all nice guys!

Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.

Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
A1: Take your foot off his head.
A2: No. Good!

Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
A: Shoot him before he hits the water.

Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of shit?
A: The bucket.

Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in thats a shame)?
A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.