*Incontinence Hotline…Can you hold, please?



*Lysdexia: a peech imspediment we live to learn with…



*If only women came with pull-down menus and on-line help.



*43.3% of statistics are meaningless!



*Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.



*A.A.A.A.A. – An organization for drunks who drive.



*It said Insert disk #3, but only two will fit.



*Which is the non-smoking lifeboat?



* |||||||//////__ __ __ __ __ The domino effect at work.



*Originality is the art of concealing your sources.



*Just fill out one simple form to win a Tax Audit!



*Grow your own Dope – Plant a Politician.



*Democracy: Four wolves and a lamb voting on lunch.



*The buck doesnt even slow down here!



*Dont assume malice for what stupidity can explain.



*If you think talk is cheap, try hiring a lawyer.



*Oh, no! Not ANOTHER learning experience!



*The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.



*Advice is free: The right answer will cost plenty.



*Stupidity does not qualify as a handicap, park elsewhere!



*Dont Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.



*Nothings impossible for those who dont have to do it.



*Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.



*Dont worry: the answers at the back of the book.



*We do precision guesswork.



*My life has a superb cast, but I cant figure out the plot.



*Oh what a tangled web we weave – Hair Club for Men.



*A penny saved is a government oversight.



*Shin – Device for finding furniture in the dark.



*Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.