30
Jul

Lose weight £1.00 a pound

Did you hear about
the guy who had tried every diet in the world in an attempt to lose weight?
He tries the Scarsdale diet, the Navy diet, Weight Watchers, etc. and
none worked. He was reading the paper one day when he noticed a small
ad which read: Lose weight £1.00 a pound. And it simply listed a
telephone number.
Having little to lose the man called the number. A voice on the other
end asked, How much weight do you want to lose?, to which the man responded,
Ten pounds.. The voice replied, Very well, put you check in the mail
and well have a representative over to your house in the morning.
About 9:00 am the next morning the man gets a knock on the door. Here
stands a beautiful redheaded woman, completely naked except for a sign
around her neck stating, If you catch me you can screw me. Well the
overweight fellow chased her upstairs, downstairs, over sofas, through
the kitchen, all around the house. Finally he did catch her and when he
was through enjoying himself she said, Quick, go into the bathroom and
weigh yourself!. He did just that and was amazed to find that he had
lost ten pounds, right to the ounce!
That evening he called the number again. The voice on the other end asked,
How much weight do you want to lose?, to which the somewhat less overweight
man replied, Twenty pounds.. Very well, the voice on the phone told
him, Put your check in the mail and well have a representative over
to your house in the morning.
At about 8:00 am the next morning the man receives a knock on the door.
When he opens the door he sees a beautiful blond dressed only in track
shoes and a sign around her neck stating If you catch me you can screw
me. The chase took awhile longer this time but the man finally did catch
her. When he was through she told him, Quick, run into the bathroom and
weigh yourself! He ran to the bathroom and found he had lost another
20 pounds!
This is fantastic!, he thought to himself. Later that evening he called
the number again and the voice at the other end asked, How much weight
do you want to lose?. Fifty pounds!, the man exclaimed. Fifty pounds?,
the voice asked. Thats an awful lot of weight to lose at one time.
The overweight man replied, My checks already in the mail. You just
have your representative over here in the morning, and he hung up the
phone.
About 6:00 am the next morning the man gets out of bed and gets all fancied
up, ready for the next representative. At about 7:00 am he gets a knock
on the door. When he opens the door he sees this large gorilla with a
sign around his neck stating, If I catch you Im going to screw you.

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