Old and New Jokes

A guy and his wife were speeding down the interstate when a state cop pulls him over. The man says, Whats the problem officer?



Officer: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.



Man: No sir, I was going 65.



Wife: Oh Harry, you were going 80. Man gives his wife a dirty look.



Officer: I will also give you a ticket for your broken tail light.



Man: Broken tail light? I didnt know about a broken tail light



Wife: Oh Harry, youve known about that tail light for months. Man gives his wife a dirty look.



Officer: I will also give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.



Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.



Wife: Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt.



Man turns to his wife and yells, Bitch, shut your damn mouth



The Officer turns to the woman and says, Mam,does your husband talk to you this way all the time?? Wife says, No, only when hes drunk.