Measuring the Cold

Temperature in Fahrenheit:

+60 Californians put on sweaters.

+50 Miami residents turn on the heat.

+45 Vermont residents go to outdoor concert.

+40 You can see your breath.

Californians shiver uncontrollably.

Minnesotans go swimming.

+35 Italians cars dont start.

+32 Water freezes.

+30 You plan your vacation in Australia.

+25 Ohio water freezes.

Californians weep pitiably

Minnesotans eat ice cream.

Canadians go swimming.

+20 Politicians begin to talk about the homeless.

New York City water freezes.

Miami residents plan vacation further south.

+15 French cars dont start.

Cat insists on sleeping with you.

+10 You need jumper cables to get the car going.

+ 5 American cars dont start.

0 Alaskans put on T-shirts.

-10 German cars dont start.

Eyes freeze shut when you blink.

-15 You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo.

Arkansans stick tongues on metal objects.

Miami residents cease to exist.

-20 Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you.

Politicians actually do something about the homeless.

Minnesotans shovel snow off roof.

Japanese cars dont start.

-25 Too cold to think.

You need jumper cables to get the driver going.

Wisconsin-Eau Claire students walk rapidly across the footbridge.

-30 You plan a two week hot bath.

Swedish cars dont start.

-40 Californians disappear.

Minnesotans button top button.

Canadians put on sweater.

Your car helps you plan your trip south.

-50 Congressional hot air freezes.

Alaskans close the bathroom window.

-80 Hell freezes over.

Polar bears move south.

Green Bay Packer fans order hot cocoa at the game.

-90 Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.

-100 Canadian buildings turn off air conditioning.

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