Old and New Jokes

A lawyer was duck hunting in Montana recently, when he attempted to cross a fence into a field to retrieve a duck he had shot. The rancher suddenly pulled up in his pick-up truck, jumped out, and asked the lawyer what he was doing on his property.
Retrieving this duck that I just shot, he replied.
That duck is on my side of the fence, so now it’s mine, replied the rancher.
The lawyer asked the rancher if he knew who he was talking to. No, replied the rancher, I don’t know, and I don’t care.
I am a high priced attorney with a practice in New York. And if you don’t let me get that duck, I can sue you for your ranch, your truck, your cattle, and everything else you own. I’ll leave you penniless on the street.
Well, said the rancher, In Montana the only law we go by is the ‘3 kicks law’.
Never heard of it, said the lawyer.
The rancher said, I get to kick you 3 times, and if you make it back to your feet and are able to kick me back 3 times, that duck is yours.
The lawyer thought this over. He grew up in a tough neighborhood and figured he could take this old guy. Fair enough, he said.
So the rancher kicked the lawyer violently in the groin. As he was doubling over, the rancher kicked him in the face, and when he hit the ground, he kicked him hard in the ribs. After several moments, the lawyer slowly made it back to his feet.
Alright, now it’s my turn, said the lawyer.
Aw, forget it, said the rancher, you can have the duck.