You just might be a Redneck if:

Youve ever tried to drown a fish. You can yell to your mom, Hey, Aunt Betty! Your kids fight with the dogs for their dinner. Youve ever stood in line to have your picture taken with a freak of nature. More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years. Your mother has been involved in a fist-fight at a high school sports event. None of your shirts cover your stomach. You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment. Youve ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys. Youve ever bathed with flea and tick soap. Your family tree does not fork. Your babys first words are Attention K-Mart shoppers. You have a Hefty Bag for a passenger-side window. The fifth grade is referred to as your senior year. Three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them. Your gene pool doesnt have a deep end. You have the taxidermists number on speed-dial. Your dog and your wallet are both on a chain. The UFO hotline limits you to one call per day. Your two-year-old has more teeth than you do. You have ever been accused of lying through your tooth. Your underwear doubles as your bathing suit. You let you kid pee in the parking lot at K-Mart.