Old and New Jokes

A bigshot business man had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his employees. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him.



The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She walked into his room and announced, I have to take your temperature.



After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth.



No, Im sorry, the nurse stated, but for this reading, I cant use an oral thermometer.



This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind.



After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!



She leaves the door to his room open on her way out. He curses under his breath as he hears people walking past his door, laughing. After almost an hour, the mans doctor comes into the room.



Whats going on here? asked the doctor.



Angrily, the man answers, Whats the matter, Doc? Havent you ever seen someone having their temperature taken before?



After a pause, the doctor replies, Yes, but never with a daffodil!