Cierto dÃa, todos los números 0 tenÃan una fiesta, pero un 8 que andaba por ahà también querÃa entrar:
¡Demonios, esos malditos números racistas no me van a dejar entrar a su fiesta!
Entonces, se le ocurrió un plan. Asà que entra a la fiesta como si nada; pero al ver esto los números 0, se acercan a él y le reclaman:
Eh, idiota, ésta es una fiesta de números 0, ¿qué haces aquà si tú eres un 8?
¡Ea, tranquilos hermanos, si tan sólo me apreté mucho el cinturón!
Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence.
Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, What are you up to there, Tim?
My goldfish died, replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, and Ive just buried him.
The neighbor was concerned, Thats an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isnt it?
Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, Thats because hes inside your stupid cat.
Thursday night her husband comes home and says that he has been invited on a fishing trip this weekend with his boss and it would get him the bounse that he had been waiting for.
So if she would pack his bag and put out his tackle box in the morning he would pick it up and would se be sure to pack his new blue silk pajamas.
the wife thinking that it was alittle fishy she did as he said.
when her husband came home he said they had caught a lot of fish. But then asked why she had not packed his new blue silk pajamas?
I did the wife said they were in your tackel box!
Yo mama so stupid she cant tell the diffrence between shampoo and Shamu!
What do men and women have in common?
They both distrust men.
1.That theres my brand new pickup truck, and its paid for.
2.I won this here buckle at the Calgary Stampede
3. Honest Mr. I was just helping that sheep over the fence!
You might be a redneck if…
Your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
Always give 100% at work…….
12% on Monday
23% on Tuesday
40% on Wednesday
20% on Thursday
5% on Fridays
And remember …….
When youre having a really bad day and it seems like people are trying to piss you off, remember it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to extend your finger and flip them off.
Now get back to work!
Little Timmy is playing on the street when he spots a package of Viagra pills. Being a boy of the world, he immediately recognizes the possibilities and approaches his daddy, Dad, I just found these, and Im willing to sell them to you for $100 straight.
Son, well, while this is a very good offer, Im in perfect physical health and not currently needing those. Tell you what, go ask Grandpa.
So Timmy walks over and asks his grandfather, Gramps, I will sell you this package of Viagra for $100.
Oh, thanks Timmy, but are you sure these will work? asked his grandfather.
Gee, I dont know, said Timmy. But they do look like the ones that were shown on TV!
Tell you what, Timmy, Ill try them tonight and if they work okay, Ill give you the money tomorrow.
The next morning, Timmy visits his grandfather again, and Gramps hands over $500 without hesitation. Timmy is perplexed, But Gramps, I thought we agreed on $100.
Thats okay, Timmy, keep it, replied the grandfather. The rest is from Grandma!
The technician who signs out your camera cant stop laughing
Your cold makes your voice sound like Jerry Lewis
The friggin things warped
The second after your batteries stop charging, theyre completely dead
Your B-roll has poppy seeds [bah-dum]
Everyone you interview insists on speaking in pig-latin
Your editing room is titled Hell
The footage is 32 hours of feet
Title: Mailboxes, Big and Small
We had a video project due?!
[Im perfectly willing to explain anything you found confusing. I tried to stay away from techie terms, but I do write these lists for my *own* amusement… :)]