Phrases Useful in the Workplace

1. Thank you – were all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

2. The fact that no one understands you doesnt mean youre an artist.

3. I dont know what your problem is, but Ill bet its hard to pronounce.

4. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

5. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just dont care.

6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and inexperienced.

7. What am I – flypaper for freaks!?

8. Im not being rude. Im just ignoring you.

9. Im already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

11. Its a thankless job, but Ive got a lot of calories to burn off.

12. Yes, he is an agent of Satan, but his duties are largely ceremonial.

13. No, my powers can only be used for good.

14. How about never? Is never good for you?

15. Im really easy to get along with once you people realize Im right.

16. Your idea seems reasonable… Time to up my medication.

17. Ill try being nicer if youll try being smarter.

18. Im out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message…

19. I dont work here. Im a consultant.

20. Who me? I just wander from room to room.

21. My toys! My toys! I cant do this job without my toys!

22. It might look like Im doing nothing, but at the cellular level Im really quite busy.

23. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.

24. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

25. I see youve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

Most viewed Jokes (20)