Old and New Jokes

Ol Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital, near death. The family called their pastor to stand with them. As the pastor stood next to the bed, Ol Freds condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on. The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ol Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then he died. The pastor thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket. At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Ol Fred died. He said, You know, Ol Fred handed me a note just before he died. I havent looked at it, but knowing Fred, Im sure theres a word of inspiration there for us all. He opened the note, and read, Ass****, youre standing on my oxygen tube!