The pope died. Like all good Christians he went to heaven and knocked on the gate. Peter opened the gate, and the pope said: Im the pope.

Peter picked up the phone and rang Jesus. I have someone here who says hes the pope, do you know him?

Jesus answered: No, never heared of him, send him to hell.

Peter relayed this message to the pope.

That cant be true, ring God himself, the pope said.

Peter rang God and said: Heres someone who says hes the pope, do you know him?

God answered: No, never heard of him, send him to hell.

And again, Peter told the pope.

The last chance I have is the Holy Spirit, the pope said.

Peter rang him and said: I have someone here who says hes the pope, you know him?

Yes, he said, I know him. Hes the one who told everyone I got Maria pregnant. Send him to hell.