The young man working in the produce department of a large grocery store was approached by a customer who said he wanted to buy half a head of lettuce. The young man was taken aback somewhat and indicated he would have to check with the store manager.

So the produce clerk went to the store managers office for instruction. He stood in the doorway of the office and said, Theres some dumbhead out here who wants to buy just half a head of lettuce.

Then, noticing that the customer had come up behind him, he added, And this gentleman wants to buy the other half.

The manager said, Sell it.

Later, the manager sought out this young man and complimented him on his quick wit and intelligence in the way he had side-stepped a potentially sticky situation. You are just the kind of man we want in management. In fact, I want you to take over our biggest store in Montreal.

The clerk responded, Montreal!! The only people who come from there are hookers and hockey players! Why would I want to go to Montreal?!

When the manager said icily, My wife happens to be from Montreal!

The clerk came right back with, Really? What position does she play?