You own a whole set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip.

Your wife has ever asked you to come move the transmission so that she can take a bath.

You and your dog both used the tree at the corner.

Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.

You own a homemade fur coat.

The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

Your school fight song is Dueling Banjos.

If you think The Nutcracker is somthing you do off the high dive.

The strongest smell in your house is butane.

You keep a can of RAID on the kitchen table.

Your mother has ammo on her Christmas list.

The taillight covers of your car are made of red tape.

You think a turtleneck is the key ingredient for soup.

Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

The same pair of boots have been in your family for five generations and theyre only twenty years old.

You think the Franklin Mint is a breath freshener.

You think doctorin involves mammas sewing kit and a jug.