Redneck Love Poem

Collards is green, my dogs name is Blue

and Im so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in the breeze.

Softer than Blues and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass, which excite me in May.

You aint got no scales, but I luv you anyway.

Yore as satisfyn as okry jist a-fryn in the pan.

Yore as fragrant as snuff right out of the can.

You have somea yore teeth, for which I am proud;

I hold my head high when were in a crowd.

On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms,

well, Im in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work, they all want to know,

what I did to deserve such a purty, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape yore there fer yore man,

to patch up lifes troubles and fix what you can.

Yore as cute as a junebug a-buzzin overhead.

You aint mean like those far ants I found in my bed.

Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt,

you spark up my life moren a fresh load of dirt .

When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack,

my life is complete; Aint nuthin I lack.

Yore complexion, its perfection, like the best vinyl sidin.

despite all the years, yore age just keeps hidin.

Me n yous like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank,

we go together like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentines Day;

They git it at Wal-Mart, its romantic that way.

Some men git roses on that special day

from the cooler at Kroger. Thats impressive, I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth.

Diamonds are forever, they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey, these wont do.

Cause yore too special, you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift, without taste nor odor,

more useful than diamonds… ITS A NEW TROLLN MOTOR!!

Luv, from yore Romeo

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