So your daughters a hooker,

and it spoiled your day …

Look at the bright side,

shes a really good lay.

My tire was thumping …

I thought it was flat …

when I looked at the tire …

I noticed your cat … Sorry

You had your bladder removed

and youre on the mends …

heres a bouquet of flowers

and a box of Depends.

Youve announced that youre gay,

wont that be a laugh,

when they find out youre one

of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

Happy Vasectomy!

Hope you feel zippy!

Cause when I had mine

I got real snippy.

Heard your wife left you …

How upset you must be …

But dont fret about it …

She moved in with me

Your computer is dead …

it was once so alive …

Do you regret installing

Win 95?

You totalled your car …

and cant remember why …

could it have been …

that case of Bud Dry?