01
Aug

Residency in New England

(From: JIM DAMICO DTN: 261-3257)

Forms for NH and MA

Application for Permission to Live in New Hampshire

NAME:

ETHNIC INFORMATION: (voluntary)
White ( )

TYPE OF CARS OWNED:
Pickup Truck ( )
You dont own any Foreign cars, do you? NO ( )

CAR EQUIPMENT:
Gun Rack ( ) Stash ( ) CB ( ) Beer Holder ( )
Playboy air freshener ( )

BUMPER STICKERS:
Ex-wife in trunk ( )
If Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Have Guns ( )
Bush/Quayle ( )
Shit Happens ( )
If you dont like my driving, get off the sidewalk ( )

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Heterosexual ( )

FAVORITE CAUSE: NRA ( ) Pro-life ( )

Total given to these causes in the last 12 months:

FAVORITE DRUGS:
Grass ( )

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING SHOULD BE BANNED?:
(check all that apply)
Democrats ( ) Welfare ( ) N.O.W. ( )

FAVORITE BEER:
Miller ( ) Michelob ( ) Bud ( )

FAVORITE POLITICIAN:
Dont Care ( )

CLUB MEMBERSHIPS:
NRA ( )

How Automatic Weapons do you own?

5 ( ) 10 ( ) More than that ( )

FAVORITE TV SHOW: Benny Hill ( )

Application for Permission to Live in Massachusetts

NAME:
(extra space left due to new social awareness)

ETHNIC INFORMATION: (voluntary)
Eskimo ( ) American Indian ( ) Hispanic ( ) Asian ( )
African-American ( ) American-African ( ) Black-American ( )
Other Group With A Long History Of Oppression By White Males ( )
(specify, so we can help you form a political action group)

TYPE OF CARS OWNED (pick two):
SAAB ( ) Volvo ( ) BMW ( ) Mercedes ( ) Honda ( )

You dont own any American cars, do you? NO ( )

CAR EQUIPMENT:
Blaupunkt ( ) Passport ( ) Escort ( ) Vuarnet Sunglasses ( )
Stash ( ) CD ( ) Cellular Phone ( ) Ski Rack ( )
Bicycle Rack ( ) Wine Rack ( )

BUMPER STICKERS:
You cant hug a child with nuclear arms ( ) Greenpeace ( )
Dukakis/Bentsen ( ) Save the Whales ( ) Farms not Arms ( )

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Gay ( ) Lesbian ( ) Other ( )
(note: failure to give the proper answer to the above means you cant
live in certain towns on the Cape, or get elected to Congress)

FAVORITE CAUSE: Whales ( ) Baby Seals ( ) Snail Darter ( )
Total given to these causes in the last 12 months:

FAVORITE DRUGS:
Crack ( ) Coke ( ) Grass ( ) Kittys Diet Plan ( )

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING SHOULD BE BANNED?:
(check all that apply)
The Bomb ( ) Handguns ( ) All guns ( ) Nuclear Power ( )
Cigarettes ( ) The NRA ( ) Republicans ( )

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING SHOULD BE LEGALIZED?:
(check all that apply)
Crack ( ) Coke ( ) Grass ( ) Needles ( )
Flag Burning ( )

FAVORITE BEER:
Samuel Adams ( ) Becks ( ) Corona(w/lime) ( )
Latest trendy brand ( )

FAVORITE POLITICIAN:
Ted Kennedy ( ) John Kennedy ( ) Bobby Kennedy ( )
Joe Kennedy ( )

CLUB MEMBERSHIPS:
ACLU ( ) Greenpeace ( ) SDS ( ) N.O.W. ( ) A.F.S.C.M.E ( )
Billy Bulger Breakfast Club ( ) Provincetown Boys Club ( )
Bull-dykes Kennel Club ( )

Even though we cant ever get any more power from Hydro-Quebec, dont
you think that Seabrook should remain closed forever? YES ( )

Dont you think that the people in the Midwest should stop dropping acid
rain on our vacation homes in Vermont, even if it means that they all lose
their jobs? YES ( )

How many watts (per channel, RMS) is your principal home stereo?
100W ( ) 200W ( ) More than that ( )

How many air conditioners do you have to help you through our long New
England summers?: 2 ( ) 3 ( ) 4 ( ) Central Air ( )
(note: Fewer than two A/C units may qualify you for state
subsidies if you are a non-white unemployed Democrat)

FAVORITE TV SHOW: Thirtysomething ( )

Most viewed Jokes (20)