Old and New Jokes

After her fifth child, Lucy decided that she should have some cosmetic surgery down below to restore herself to her former youthful glory.



Time and childbirth had taken its toll and she reckoned that, with five children now being the limit, shed tidy things with a nip here and a tuck there.



Following the operation she awoke from her anaesthetic to find three roses at the end of the bed.



Who are these from ? she asked the nurse, Theyre very nice but Im a bit confused as to why Ive received them.



Well said the nurse, The first is from the surgeon – the operation went so well and you were such a model patient that he wanted to say thanks.



Ahhh, thats really nice said Lucy.



The second is from your husband – hes delighted the operation was such a success that he cant wait to get you home. Apparently itll be the first time hes touched the sides for years and hes very excited!



Brilliant! said Lucy. And the third?



Thats from Eric in the burns unit said the nurse.

He just wanted to say thanks for his new ears!