Resumania – bloopers in resumes

Resumania is a term coined by Mr. Robert Half, founder of RHI Consultings parent company, to describe the unintentional bloopers that often appear on job candidates resumes, job applications and cover letters. Heres some examples:

I perform my job with effortless efficiency, effectiveness, efficacy, and expertise.

(And an eye on the e section of the dictionary, evidently.)

Insufficient writing skills, thought processes have slowed down some. If I am not one of the best, I will look for another opportunity.

(No problem …)

Seek challenges that test my mind and body, since the two are usually inseparable.

(Glad to hear it.)

My compensation should be at least equal to my age.

(And bonuses tied to his shoe size?)

I am very detail-oreinted.

(With the possible exception of spelling)

I can play well with others.

(Well be sure to tell your mommy.)

Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel.

(A new twist on work-family balance.)

Objection: To utilize my skills in sales.

(Have you considered law school?)

My salary requirement is $34 per year.

(They say money isnt everything.)

Served as assistant sore manager.


Work history: Bum. Abandoned belongings and led nomadic lifestyle.

(So youre willing to travel?)

Previous experience: Self-employed – a fiasco.

(Definitely to the point.)

I vow to fulfill the goals of the company as long as I live.

(And they say loyalty is hard to come by.)

Reason for leaving last job: Pushed aside so the vice presidents girlfriend could steal my job.

(Were glad youre not bitter.)

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