Rules for Attorney Hunting Season

Any person with a valid State hunting license may harvest attorneys.
The taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of
currency as bait is prohibited.
The killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally
struck, remove roadkill to roadside, then proceed to nearest car wash.
It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a helicopter or
other aircraft.
It shall be unlawful to shout whiplash, ambulance!, or Free Perrier!
for the purposes of trapping attorneys.
It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young boys, $100 bills, prostitutes, or
vehicle accidents to attract attorneys.
It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of whorehouses,
health spas, ambulances, or hospitals.
If an attorney is elected to government office, there will be a $500 bounty
on the pelt.
Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection
for rabies, vermin and contagious diseases.
It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drug
dealer, pimp, female law clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or tax
accountant for the purposes of hunting attorneys.

Attorney Bag Limits

Yellow-Bellied Sidewinder = 5

Hairless Civil Libertarian = 7

Skinny-Assed Ambulance Chaser = 12

Horse or Cattle Rustler Defender = 20

Silver-Tongued Murderer Defender = 50

Jack-Legged Divorce Litigator = No limit

Honest Attorney = Extinct

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