HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

She is not a BABE or a CHICK – She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

She is not EASY – She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

She does not TEASE or FLIRT – She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.

She is not DUMB – She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

She has not BEEN AROUND – She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

She does not GET YOU EXCITED – She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.

She is not KINKY – She is a CREATIVE CARETAKER.

She does not have a KILLER BODY – She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.

She is not an AIRHEAD – She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY – She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

She is not HORNY – She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS – She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

She does not NAG YOU – She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

She is not a SLUT – She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS – She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE – She is a LOW-COST PROVIDER.