A man came home from the Social Security Office. Honey, he said to his wife, I finally convinced them that Im old enough to collect Social Security.

How? his wife asked. Since the department of records in the small town you were born in was flooded, you cant get a copy of your birth certificate.

I know, the man replied, I just unbuttoned my shirt and showed them all the gray hairs on my chest. That convinced them that Im old enough.

His wife retorted, Then while you were at it, why didnt you whip out your dick and get disability, too?!