Old and New Jokes

WHAT WOMEN SAY & REALLY MEAN:CANT WE JUST BE FRIENDS?
There is no way in hell Im going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine,again.I JUST NEED SOME SPACE.
… without you in it.DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS?
We havent had a fight in a while.NO, PIZZAS FINE.
… you cheap slob!I JUST DONT WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW.
I just dont want you as a boyfriend now.I DONT KNOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
I cant believe you have nothing planned.COME HERE.
My puppy does this, too.I LIKE YOU, BUT…
I dont like you.OF COURSE I LOVE YOU.
… just not in that way.YOU NEVER LISTEN.
You never listen.WERE MOVING TOO QUICKLY.
Im not going to sleep with you until I find out if this guy at the gym has a girlfriend.ILL BE READY IN A MINUTE.
Im ready, but Im going to make you wait because I know you will.OH, NO, ILL PAY FOR MYSELF.
Im just being nice; theres no way Im going dutch.OH YES!!! RIGHT THERE!!
Well, near there; I just want to get this over with.IM JUST GOING OUT WITH THE GIRLS.
Were gonna get sloppy and make fun of you and your friends.