Q: How do you crash a houseboat party?

A: You just barge in!

Q: What happened to the water polo team?

A: The horses drowned.

First Law of Bicycling: No matter which way you ride, its uphill and against the wind.

Anyone can win – unless there happens to be a second entry.

There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids to do it.

One should be careful to keep his mouth shut – when swimming and when angry.

A swimming pool is a crowd of people with water in it.

Fishing: Just a jerk at one end of the line waiting for a jerk at the other end.

Creative golf: Stuffing your shots with such precision theat your boss actually believes he beat you fair and square.

Good friend: Anyone who doesnt play as well as you do – and does it consistently.

Class: Demonstrated not by whether you win or lose, but how you tear up your scorecard.

If you have to ask, youre not entitled to know.

If you dont like the answer, you shouldnt have asked in the first place.

A man whos wrapped up in himself makes a mighty small parcel.