As a poor student, these are things you definitely would NOT want to see happen at the ATM…



* You go to get a balance inquiry, and instead of printing out a receipt the screen says: Not worth wasting paper., and ejects your card.



* You try to get a balance inquiry, and the screen says: Account not found. and keeps your card.



* You insert your card, and try to get some cash, and the ATM laughs and spits out your shredded card.



* You withdraw some money to pay some bills, count it, and the screen says: What, you thought there was some EXTRA there? HA!, and ejects your card clear across the room.



* You think youve got £100 in your account and go to take out £50, and the screen says: Not in this lifetime. and laughs as you bang on the machine, trying desperately to get your card back that the machine has taken.



* You go to the ATM, and theres a picture of you a-la-Most Wanted staring forlornly at the ATM camera with a caption that reads: Wanted for trying to get water from a dry well. -or-

Wanted by the environmental police for creating unnecessary paper trash.