Sure Fire Ways To Know Youre A Woman

1. Whine

2. When asked if something is bothering you, you reply no.

Then get mad when you are believed.

3. Become attracted to someone because he is outgoing and loves parties,

start dating him and immediately expect him to stop this behavior.

4. Always take an hour longer than promised to prepare for the evening.

5. Whine.

6. If you are trying to sleep, its because youre exhausted from your

almost super-human level of daily achievement; if he is trying to

sleep, its because he is lazy.

7. If he pays attention to you, he is smothering you.

8. If he gives you space, he is ignoring you.

9. Demand to be treated as an equal in everything. Except when paying

for meals, plane tickets, concerts, beers, etc. These are required

gifts proving his love.

10. Declare PMS at any given time. If he is knowledgeable about your cycle,

tell him youre irregular from all of the stress of your life.

11. Remember that any woman who so much as looks at your boyfriend

must be labeled a whore and your network of friends must be informed

immediately to spread this as quickly as possible.

12. Make his life miserable by making him feel guilty about

doing anything other than catering to your needs.

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