That Jim Mica feller what posted that there thing bout the bugs on the TV sets in Atlanta was mighty sarcastic bout the South. I spect he dont know much at all bout this part of the country. Sure, we are different and special. Thats why we done got a special Census form so that we can make the Federal Govment unnerstand jus how they need to count us. Everyone down here knows that a damyankee dont know nuthin. Im attachin the first part of our Census form so you kin see just how clever we really are when it comes to countin people. Ill post the second part tomorry.

The 2000 Federal Census for Rednecks

Last name: ________________

First name: (Check appropriate box)

(_) Billy-Bob

(_) Billy-Joe

(_) Billy-Ray

(_) Billy-Sue

(_) Billy-Mae

(_) Billy-Jack

What does everyone call you?

(_) Booger

(_) Bubba

(_) Junior

(_) Sissy

(_) Other___________________

Age: ____ (if unsure, guess)

Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ Not sure

Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right

Occupation: (Check appropriate box)

(_) Farmer

(_) Mechanic

(_) Hair Dresser

(_) Unemployed

(_) Dirty Politician

Spouses Name:_________________________

2nd Spouses Name:______________________

3rd Spouses Name:______________________

Lovers Name:___________________________

Relationship with spouse: (Check appropriate box)

(_) Sister

(_) Brother

(_) Aunt

(_) Uncle

(_) Cousin

(_) Mother

(_) Father

(_) Son

(_) Daughter

(_) Pet

Number of children living in household: _____

Number of children living in shed: ______

Number that are yours: ______

Mothers Name: _______________________(If not sure, leave blank)

Fathers Name: _______________________ (If not sure, leave blank)

Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

Check out also the Part II of The 2000 Federal Census for Rednecks