Sorry, Officer, I didnt realize my radar detector wasnt plugged in.
That hooker I met at the AIDS clinic said you were a nice guy.
Hey, you mustve been doin about 125mph to keep up with me! Good job!
That uniform makes your ass look really big.
Excuse me. Is stick up hyphenated?
I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer.
You dont happen to have any beer in your car?
I was going to be cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
Bad Cop! No Donut!
Your not gonna check the trunk, are you?
Gee, that gut sure doesnt inspire confidence.
Lets do it different this time… I will give you the breathalyzer test, now stick this in your mouth and blow
Did you happen to attend the Barney Fife Police Academy?
Didnt I see you get your ass kicked on Cops?
I cant reach my license unless you hold my beer.
Wow, You look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend s nightstand.
When you smack the crap outta me, make sure you smile pretty for the camcorder.
I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket.
Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
I pay your salary!
So, uh, you on the take, or what?
Those sirens are hurting my ears, turn them off or I am not speaking to you.
So what if I was speeding, whatcha gonna do about it Mr. Hotshot?
Gee, officer! Thats terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
Arent you the guy from the village people?
Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay just so one of us does.
I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes I know there is no other car around, thats how far they are ahead of me.
So, are you still crabby because your mamma didnt let you play with your gun when you were little?
Sorry I cant hear you over the radio. No I am not turning it down, I love this song. Either speak up or just leave me alone.
What do you mean have I been drinking? Your the trained specialist.
Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
Hey, man, you want a hit?
Hey is that a 9 mm? Thats nothing compared to this .44 magnum.
Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?