Old and New Jokes

A man walked into a bar and sat down at a table with a bowl of peanuts on it.Wow, youre really good looking, I bet you get lots of girls! You look really successful, too… you must be rich! Youre so handsome and funny and all around great! complimented the peanuts.Thinking this was kinda strange, the man went over to the cigarette machine to buy a pack.He jumped back in surprise when the machine said to him. Woah, man, are you ugly?! Ive never seen a more sad, gross, ugly little man in my life! Whered you get those clothes, the dump?! Youre pathetic!Quite alarmed now, the man walked over to the barman and asked what was going on with the peanuts and the cigarette machine. The barman replied,Well, the peanuts are complimentary, but the machines right out of order.