The Bobbit Hillbillies

Sung to the tune of The Beverly Hillbillies

Come and listen to my story bout a man named John,

A poor ex-marine with little fraction gone,

It seems one night after gettin with the wife,

She lopped off his dong with the swipe of a knife.

Penis, that is.

Clean Cut. Missed his nuts.

Well, the next thing you know theres a Ginsu by his side,

And Lorenas in the car taken Willie for a ride.

She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend

And tossed him out the window as she rounded a bend.

Curve, that is.

Tossed the nub. In the shrub.

She went to the cops and confessed to the attack,

And they called out the hounds just to get his weenie back.

They sniffed and they barked and they pointed Over there

To John Waynes henry that was waving in the air.

Found, that is.

By a fence. Evidence.

Now peter and John couldnt stay apart too long

So a dick doc said, Hey, I can fix that dong!

A needle and a thread is all were gonna need

And the whole world waited till they heard that

Johnny peed.

Whizzed, that is.

Even seam. Straight stream.

Well he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court

With a half-assed lawyer cause his assets came up short.

They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape,

And his pecker was the only thing they didnt show on tape.

Video, that is.

Unexposed. Case Closed.

Yall sleep on your stomachs now, ya hear?

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