An annoyingly self-righteous man went to the doctor for a check-up. He said, I feel terrible. Please examine me and tell me whats wrong with me.

Lets begin with a few questions, said the doctor, Do you drink much?

Alcohol? said the man. Im a teetotaler. Never touch a drop.

How about smoking? asked the doctor.

Never, replied the man. Tobacco is bad, and I have strong principles against it.

Well, uh. asked the doctor, do you have much sex life?

Oh, no, said the man. Sex is sin. Im in bed by 10:30 every night and I always have been.

The doctor paused, looked at the man hard, and asked, Well, do you have pains in your head?

Yes, said the man. I have terrible pains in my head.

O.K., said the doctor. Thats your trouble. Your halo is on too tight!!!