The Harmless Weirdo

At first, you think the Harmless Weirdo is adorably eccentric, offbeat, and intelligent–an iconoclast, really. Yes, he has a few unusual quirks and mannerisms, but hes no boring, cookie-cutter frat boy. In short, hes totally unlike any other man youve ever dated, which strikes you as a good thing.

Your view changes, radically, the evening you proudly introduce him to your friends. In front of everyone you know, your new suitor relates an anecdote about a bus trip he once took that goes on forever and has no apparent pont. THen, when the conversation turns to politics, he hijacks it, launching into a long, unstoppable tirade about the unacknowledged link between diet soda and brain damage. In a moment of sickening clarity, you become aware that you are dating a deeply odd individual. Hes the nerd from chemistry class, traveling incognito thanks to a pair of chinos from the GAP.

Moments after this revelation, you put dumping him on the top of your to-do list. But the Harmless Weirdo isnt exactly attuned to social clues and fundamentally doesnt understand hes being ditched. Long after youve shown him the door, hell still call and drop by with no warning, as though nothing has changed. Although hes not physically threatening, psychologically, hes a menace. Hes a reminder that at times, your judgement can be very poor, indeed.

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