The Real Programmers At Work

The Real Programmer is capable of working 30, 40, even 50 hours at a stretch, under intense pressure. In fact, he prefers it that way. Bad response time doesnt bother the Real Programmer — it gives him a chance to catch a little sleep between compiles. If there is not enough schedule pressure on the Real Programmer, he tends to make things more challenging by working on some small but interesting part of the problem for the first nine weeks, then finishing the rest in the last week, in two or three 50-hour marathons. This not only inpresses the hell out of his manager, who was despairing of ever getting the project done on time, but creates a convenient excuse for not doing the documentation. In general:

  • No Real Programmer works 9 to 5. (Unless its the ones at night.)
  • Real Programmers dont wear neckties.
  • Real Programmers dont wear high heeled shoes. [But you *never* know!]
  • Real Programmers arrive at work in time for lunch.
  • A Real Programmer might or might not know his wifes name. He does, however, know the entire ASCII (and/or EBCDIC) code table.
  • Real Programmers dont know how to cook. Grocery stores arent open at three in the morning.
  • Real Programmers survive on Twinkies and coffee.

Thanx to William Conway.

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